HOW TO END A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP

When you are very sure that you do not want to continue a relationship, it is only fair to clearly convey this to your partner. This is certainly a difficult task - there is no easy way to do it. But there are some guidelines that can help you go about it the right way, so that both of you can eventually recover and move on.

Do it yourself.Don't ask another friend to convey the message for you, and preferably do it in person, not in a letter, on the phone or by e-mail.

Keep it private. Don't tell your partner while you are in a group. It is an issue between both of you. There is no need to divulge too many details to others even after the break up.

Take full responsibility. Do not blame your partner. Whatever your reasons for breaking up, you have taken the decision based on the fact that YOUR needs are not being met in the relationship.

Be gracious. Part ways respectfully. You don't have to point out every flaw or mistake you can think of. If the person is angry, don't argue. Don't turn it into a session of insulting one another. It's best not to prolong the conversation.

Be very clear. While you need to be considerate of the other person's feelings, you do need to make it very clear that this is really the end. In trying to soften the blow, don't leave him / her with mixed messages or the hope that you will change your mind.

Don't break up in stages. Don't just suggest that you should see other people as well or spend more time apart, or just avoid answering the phone, hoping he/she will 'get the message'. You owe it to him or her to be direct. Think of it this way: It hurts less when you rip a bandage off rather than pull it off slowly.

Don't break up on a special day. It's cruel to break up on his/her birthday, an anniversary, Valentine's Day or any other special day. You will unnecessarily ruin this day for him / her for a long time if not forever.

Take back personal items - if possible even before you break up. And keep any items of your partners together, ready to return.

Don't promise to stay in touch or remain friends - this leads to false hopes. Once you have broken up, stay away from your ex-partner. Do not take phone calls or answer messages. You may feel you are being very unkind, but in the long run it is better this way.

**As a safety precaution, break up with your partner in a public place. If by any chance he or she turns violent, this would serve as a safeguard. This is particularly important if your relationship has been at all abusive.Tell other people that you plan to break up with your partner and let them know where you will be.