SELF CONFIDENCE -If you think you can, you
can!
Alexl gets a promotion
and is excited about his new position and
status in his team.
He is highly enthusiastic
about playing this new role and is looking
forward to take up the senior role.
He prepares himself mentally
to be a smart professional, however somehow
deep inside he feels he is losing it and
is really not able to meet the new challenges.
Do you also sometimes go through feelings
like this? If you do, read on.
You need not just try
to look confident. You can learn to think
positively and silently boost your confidence
in every potentially threatening work situation.
Here are a few
more situations, which occur commonly at
work.
• Does your
confidence go down at meetings?
Your colleagues appear more knowledgeable,
more professional, and more vocal - they
even seem totally relaxed and enjoy the
small conversation that is an integral part
of most meetings.
Appearances, however,
can be deceptive. Look objectively at the
situation. There is no real reason for you
to feel intimidated. You are just as worthy
as anyone else in that room and your contribution
is just as valuable.
Keep this fact in mind
throughout the meeting and avoid trying
to blend in with the background. Once you
have successfully raised your points and
enjoyed some positive feedback from your
colleagues, your confidence will grow. It
will be much easier next time.
• Do you hold back on general office
conversation through lack of confidence?
This situation can change if you take a
step back and look at your position within
the group. If you think that everyone else's
conversation is much smarter than yours,
think again. The best way to tackle this
self-doubt is to stop comparing yourself
with others. Everyone can offer a unique
point of view and everyone's views are valuable.
• Do you lack confidence in your
academic ability?
Remind yourself of the fact that, in today's
business environment, academic achievement
is being used less and less as a basis for
evaluating people's intelligence. Communication
skills are more important. The ability to
get on with people, negotiate compromises
and smooth over difficult work situations
is far more relevant. In addition, if you
show people that you respect them for the
above qualities, they will reciprocate.
This will boost your confidence in your
ability to interact with colleagues.
• Is lack of positive feedback crushing
your confidence?
Lack of positive feedback often stems from
pressure of work and everyone suffering
a heavy workload. It is not a personal issue
and does not mean that you are no good at
your job. In quieter moments, take the lead
and ask for constructive feedback from your
boss or colleagues. More importantly, make
a point of mentally praising yourself at
the end of every single working day.
• Do you secretly take work home
with you on a regular basis in an attempt
to keep one step ahead?
Recognize that you are not "slow"
or uninformed. It is more likely that you
have unrealistic expectations of yourself.
If you tend to take work home with you at
night, it could be that you are simply a
perfectionist, putting too many demands
upon yourself. Alternatively, others could
be just expecting too much of you. Your
confidence will improve once you accept
that it is impossible for any worker to
be perfect. You are in fact, doing your
best and that is certainly good enough.
• We need confidence, but can we
really improve on our self-confidence?
Can we really make our lives more enjoyable,
or is that just an unattainable dream?
Confidence can be improved.
We can learn to be more confident. However
we have to go about it the right way; we
have to work at it. We have to make an effort,
and if that effort is well directed we can
make tremendous improvements in our confidence
and thus in our sense of well-being. We
can get more enjoyment out of our lives,
more fulfillment and satisfaction. That
is worth working for!
Building self-confidence is not just about
thinking good of yourself; it's about not
thinking bad about yourself for no reason!
• Finally, it is
worth bearing in mind that a certain amount
of humility or the occasional hint of self-doubt
is not necessarily a bad thing. It can often
work to your advantage, provided that it
is kept in perspective. It can indicate
that you are really thinking about what
you are doing.
Here are
a few tips to boost your self-confidence.
Feel good when
you want
When you need to boost your self-confidence
or self-esteem, find 3 things that make
you feel good. These could be memories of
good times, your achievements, a piece of
music, a holiday souvenir, or a person's
face - use photos if it helps. Make a conscious
effort to think about them and bring them
to your mind.
Beat Self-consciousness
Self-consciousness is the No.1 enemy of
self-confidence. Learn how to keep your
attention off yourself. If you feel self-conscious
in a social situation, it's usually because
you don't have enough to do! Focus on what
your purpose in the situation is. Whether
you're there to:
Find out if you like
the other people in the situation.
Make others feel comfortable.
Find out some information
Make business contacts. And so on... It's
easy to feel self-conscious if you have
nothing to do, and much more difficult if
your attention is occupied by a task. And
so on...
It's easy to feel self-conscious
if you have nothing to do, and much more
difficult if your attention is occupied
by a task.
Don't take undue criticism - even from yourself!
Remember:
Confident-looking
people have bad moments too.
If you're saying things
to yourself like "You're no good at
anything" then rest assured, your confidence
will go down.
Just because you feel
under-confident, it doesn't mean other people
can tell.
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